Stefanie (00:00.174)
Hello, friend, and welcome to another episode of the Life Changing Manifestations podcast. I have named today's episode, and aptly so, the $6,000 lesson to owning my yes. And this is all about understanding the power of what you say yes to. I had a mentor who liked to say that you need to learn from the experiences you go through, otherwise you miss the lesson you paid for. Like, not just in the money,
But in the time, in the effort, in all the things, there's something there for you because you either get what you want or you get what you need. And you get what you need in the sense that it could be the answer, the understanding, the pointing, the redirection even for what you need to move towards what it is that you're seeking. And so what I did wrong, let's point this out in my lesson.
is I didn't own my yes. Owning your yes means only saying yes to things that fully light you up that you experience in a way that you could say 100 % I am all in. And this is what I call the whole body yes. Like your whole body comes on board and it says yes. This can be as simple as somebody making a recommendation for a meal and you're like, yes, like no brainer, I'm in. You know, like let's eat.
Or it can be something a major life choice and you're like 100 % yes, I'm taking that trip with you. I'm doing this thing. I'm going to this school. I'm signing up for this program, whatever it is. Everything else is not a whole body yes. And so everything else needs to be a no. Like think about that because think about how many times you're like, well, I'm not sure. Maybe or you do something because somebody is encouraging you.
pestering you, like pushing you even to do something. And so just to please this person or to appease them, you choose to do it. And you don't actually stand in your yes, which is what your authority is. So likely you show up at that event or you go do that thing with them and you really don't want to be there. Okay. You should have said no, because you didn't want to be there and honoring who you are.
Stefanie (02:17.356)
and how you're showing up is about saying yes only when it's 100 % yes. Now before you think this is an ego trip and before you're like, well, hold up. There are so many times when I have to do a lot of things that I don't want to be doing. I want you to pause and think, is that really true or have you allowed yourself that excuse? Because it is kind of an excuse, yes. And you've allowed yourself to live out in existence where you feel the pressure.
You feel the need to keep responding, keep saying yes, even though it's not in alignment with what you want. I give you an example. I left a particular role because I was like, they have too many meetings. Like, this was ridiculous. I do not want to sit in these meetings all day long. And especially because the person who kept leading all these meetings.
didn't understand that meetings were about meeting and collaborating, not listening to them repeat the same agenda over and over and over and read to us from a piece of paper. Okay. My brain was like going to explode during these things. I literally would take a notebook and I would just be writing and like doing other things and like tuning this person out. But still it was an utter waste of my time. So all I to say when I had an opportunity in the future to manifest another job,
I was kind of getting a feel of what I wanted in this particular job. And I didn't even think to vocalize it. Like I wasn't one of the things I asked them for, but I didn't want to go to meetings. And I knew that in my heart of hearts, but I hadn't thought to say that out loud. Like it just didn't even come to the surface, but it was deep in my subconscious. It was a big part of who I was. Like I don't like meetings. But what happened is I'm taking this phone call and they're offering me this job.
And they said, we just want you to come in. You just teach. You don't have to come to any of our meetings. You just got to do your onboarding training and that's it. And I was like, what? My heart's delight was being satisfied because I didn't want to do this. And so what I'm putting out there for you is you just have to be clear on your intent and what you really desire. And the reason I was able to achieve that in this moment
Stefanie (04:31.63)
was because I was fully affirming that I was saying yes to the things that lit me up, the things I wanted to do, how I wanted to spend my life, and I was saying no to everything else. So it honestly doesn't matter what it is. It's all just a matter of your perspective and where you're going in. So tie this into your value system. You've got to know your value system. You've got to know what matters to you, how you want to live out your life. Because remember, the only person you're ever fully in charge of is you.
You can't control the other people. I couldn't make that person stop being boring and was tedious and how they ran these meetings, but I could take control of myself and I could take control of how I want to change my life. Okay. So all I have to say, all that was kind of my little tangent to get you to understand the power of your yes and attaching it to your value system so that you're saying yes to things that align with your faith, align with the life you're going to live and the choices that you want to make.
that move you towards the things that you're seeking to manifest. Remember, life changing manifestation is about creating manifestations that literally change your life. So what are we going to create change for? That's the whole point of this. So here's my story. A little over a year ago, I was going through another transitional phase. That's how I'll label it. Where I was like, what do I really want to do? And really it was me wavering because I
already had created this concept of life changing manifestations. I already knew this brand was emerging. It was waiting to be birthed, but I was having hesitancy out of my own fear because side note, I was operating just from my own experience, my own abilities and not fully giving it over to God to see what he could manifest through me. Okay. So side note, that's a whole other conversation, but that's where I was. So because I was there, I had joined into a program
And I was going through this program, it was around other great business people and other business minds. And I was looking for like some kind of an answer, but they can't give me an answer. The answer has to come from within me. The answer has to come from me being guided. Yes. I guided by God's direction. That's the direction I want to go. So how am I going to make these choices? Am I going to go seek somebody else? Am I going to try to seek my own power, which is both of what I did. Okay. Or am I going to seek God's direction? Okay. So.
Stefanie (06:52.45)
To be fair and be honest, I didn't seek God's direction in this. I was like, this is business, so go ask business people. Well, as a part of this particular training, I got exposure to this particular life coach. And just on a whim, and really on a whim that was coming from a low state where I was seeking somebody, where I was seeking somebody to give me the answers, I made a big bold move.
and I signed up to do life coaching with this guy. That was the first part of my big mistake that cost me all this money. So I paid this one person $3,000 for one month, which included four phone calls each hour, just to talk to me about my life and where I was at and what was going on. And so I was kind of laying the picture. And now this, this matters. Cause here's the turning point for me where the other $3,000 came in.
and where I got myself into a bind because I wasn't standing in my yes. So I chose to work with him and I thought that was an empowered decision because I was overcoming all this fear and all this angst. But what that was is that wasn't a whole body yes. A whole body yes is electrifying. It lights you up. You don't feel any like I want to throw up right now. You don't feel any like this is uncomfortable. Am I doing the right thing? I got to force myself into it. My whole body yeses have never felt that way.
My whole body yeses when I'm affirming a yes that is in alignment with who I am. It feels amazing and I don't doubt it. I was questioning myself making that purchase, but I was like, this is the big hurdle. This is what I have to overcome. The ability to spend this kind of money. This is what's going to make me get to all the grand things I want in life. And this is what's going to be like to be wealthy as I can make these kind of big purchases. I was pumping myself up sitting in the car of a public parking lot.
making this purchase on my phone and I was just like, I can do this. I can do this. I can do this. That wasn't a whole body. Yes. That was me trying to talk myself into a yes. Okay. So I even clarify that like that's just coming up as I'm talking to you right now. I didn't even have that in my notes, but that is something that is so important that I really want to share with you because I want you to know what a whole body yes really feels like versus when you're forcing yourself into it. Okay. So that was lesson number one.
Stefanie (09:12.446)
And I can see that now and I'm sharing that with you, but understand that in that moment, it felt like me trying to rise up and become a better person in that moment. That's what I thought it was doing. But as I started to speak with him and engage with him, I was like, this is, this is not working. Like there's a disconnect here and I, I don't feel like this was the right purchase decision. Okay. So there's the remorse. There's the regret kicking in, which also doesn't come on the backend of when you own your yes. And you're moving forward with the whole body. Yes. So all these clues now that I'm learning.
And at least I can teach them to you. So there's that. the third call in, remember I got four calls, the third call, he's like, okay, what do you really want? I need you to outline this for me. Like say it, like really hone it in. Who are you? Who is Stephanie? And I told him flat out, I said all of these things that I love to do, but the baseline of everything I do comes back to the fact that I am a teacher.
passionate about teaching. And so whether that's inspirational teaching, that's me actually being in a classroom at a university teaching, me writing and teaching like all the different ways that always comes back that it's at the element that I am a teacher. It is my spiritual gift. It's what empowers and equips me. It's what delights me. I have fun with this. It's like, okay, great. But that's like, you got to flesh that out. What is that going to become? And how is that going to be your, your income?
stream, how are you going make money from this? And I said, okay. So I said, here's how I see it. I can either continue the university life, which I was already under contract for one year at a university. I was already teaching in the classroom, but I was teaching their material. Okay. I'm teaching college students what is required of the university. And that's one career path. And I said, if I want to continue to stay on this career path, I could go down the road of,
continuing this with more strength, more what matters to the university is going to get my doctorate. Okay. Cause I had my undergraduate degree and I had my master's, but I didn't have the ultimate degree, which matters to universities, which is the doctorate. And I didn't have that. I said, so that's one path I said, or I have this vision of creating content for women to help them change their lives. Like they get to the stage in the middle life and what are they going do with the rest of their lives? I really want to speak to this. I don't want to inspire them.
Stefanie (11:35.758)
I want to bring in spiritual wisdom from the Bible and encourage women with God's word. And so then I said, there's a whole other side of things, but I've got to go create that. I got to go build this as a business. And like, what is this going to be? Those were the two options. I really felt that moment were available to me that were my things. Okay. I got to tell you one I knew was my passion and one was a job I had already done for over decade and I would come back to and I would exit and I would come back to and I would exit. You know why I made so many moves? Because it
It's I'm good at it and I can do it and I take enjoyment in it, but it's not my passion. Like teaching those classes, I have fun with it and I make it fun, but it's not the same as creating this Lydia for you. Doing this work here, life changing manifestations, this embodiment of this idea, seeing this become a reality. Now that's my passion. Okay. That's a whole body. Yes. So all I just say,
We're having this conversation and we're now into our fourth week where I'm like showing you these options and we started to talk about what it be like to get the doctorate. And I said, you know, I've always loved school and, but I've never really, I don't know, should I get this doctorate? And I can't remember who said it first, but I know that we agreed on it is the ultimatum that the decision we came to was, well, it can't hurt. Like if I get the doctorate, it's just another degree. It's another, you know,
something prestigious behind my name. And whether I go on and do the business idea, well, now I have these three letters I can put behind my name and that adds credibility. So he's like, or you work in the university life, but either way, it can't hurt. And I thought about that. was like, I remember saying and affirming, it can't Friend, that's not a whole body. Yes. Because saying it can't hurt is like another like, all right, well, I guess so. All right, let's do it.
Like, no, that wasn't like a, yay, let's do it. Like I'm all in. You see the difference? I'm being, I'm trying to articulate with my words to you and I really hope you're getting this because I want you to feel the difference between making yourself do something and wanting, desiring to do something. The whole body yes is the second one. The whole body yes is an all in affirmation of be like,
Stefanie (14:00.84)
this is in alignment with who I am, this is what I want. I fill out the application form and then the admission, I'm now on the admissions list and somebody starts to reach out to me and I like avoid taking their calls and then they start to send me text messages and so I'm like just kind of like nudging at them and then they're like, okay, let's get you going or what are you going to do here? Right? And so I take the next step and there's like multiple things you have to do to go through this application process.
And I'm just like tediously over the next two months, just like doing little bits at a time. That's not a whole body. Yes. Do see that? I'm like forcing myself into it only when she keeps prompting me only when she keeps like nudging at me, like poking me to do something. And then I still wasn't done. And she messages me and she's like, Stephanie, if you're going to get in this year, you've got to have it by this date, which was like in three days. She's like, if we don't have.
your final essay and video, then we, you you're going to have to wait till next year to go ahead and apply. And there was just something about that and being under that pressure that I was like, okay. So I cleared my plate for that activity and I wrote an amazing essay and I made the video and I got accepted into the program. And then I was like, okay, now what?
because this was done and I'm just like taking step after step because I'm just like okay it can't hurt okay okay just keep doing it friend it hurt and I kept doing it anyhow I wasn't honoring my yes because I was like it's not that big of a deal it's not like just do it it's fine you'll manage it you'll make do like why was I telling myself that that's not my best life and that's not me living my best life the way God wants me to do like anyhow
but I just kept holding onto, well, it just can't hurt. That's not the life you want to live. That's you settling for less than you are worth. That's you settling for less than your full potential. Do you see that? And so here's where the final $3,000 mistake came. I allowed myself to go into this program I was accepted to. I start this program at the start of the year and I'm in it only three days and I'm working.
Stefanie (16:22.734)
all these hours there's so many books and so much research just I mean seriously I've only been in this class for three days and I'm only in one class and it was just so much I was like I'm spending all this time and I'm having to write academic language which is not clear it's not my traditional way of writing which is very conversational and so I'm like it's so against the grain for how I've trained myself as a writer and I don't like it I really really don't like it.
And I thought about all the hours that I was investing doing this doctoral program. And I said, Stephanie, what if you had spent all this hours writing content, creating videos, making amazing things that could impact the lives of women. And you had actually launched life changing manifestations and started to really make a difference into the world. What if you had spent all this time doing that? And I'm telling you, I'm only three days in. And so on the fourth day, I'm on the phone with one of the program directors and I'm just like weeping.
I'm like, I made out. I hate it. I don't want to be in this. It is so clearly the wrong decision for me. And I regret that I've made it. And I've got to leave immediately. I'm not even waiting till the end of semester. I need out. He said, easy. Here's what you do. Da da da da da. And I did it. And then they sent me the bill. Okay, for like, okay, you're not in the program. So you don't qualify for an Antlaid. You don't qualify for, you know, whatever.
And so here's your bill and oh my goodness. So for two classes, which one hadn't even started yet, but I had been registered for two for that semester, I had to pay over $3,000 for that. So $3,000 for my coach and $3,000 for the classes. So my $6,000 lesson here to learn how to say yes when it's a whole body yes and let everything else be a no.
And friend, doesn't mean that things can't change and maybe someday it's going to be us, but if it's not a yes right now and it's not a whole body, yes, let it go. Okay. Save yourself the misery, save yourself the regret, save yourself the, just pushing yourself through it and only say yes to honoring the things that are in alignment with who you are. Now want to learn what's in alignment with you? You've got to know your values. You've got to know what matters to you and you've got to know what you're focused on.
Stefanie (18:46.894)
so that you can say yes to those things that are only around that and not distractions. So if you're ready to learn more about that, make sure you have this good foundations place, make sure you're feeling fully lit up and empowered and learn from somebody who's gone through this journey and made these mistakes. I encourage you to take the whole body yes challenge. The whole body yes challenge. This is an audio training, so it's really easy to consume. Think podcast style, conversational.
and a break down like your value system being alignment with your yes. And what does it mean to stand in your whole body? Yes. And how are you feeling this out? And how are you manifesting the best results as you're doing this and moving forward? How has it attached to your faith? All the different things. Because honestly, friend, this is at the foundation of anything and everything you're ever going to create. Because can you see that if you don't learn how to own your yes, you could be saying yes to absolutely anything and everything.
You could be people pleasing. You could be caught up in just living a mediocre existence and not doing your absolute best, not living to your fullest potential because you're saying yes to the wrong things. And you're saying yes when it's not a full alignment. So learn how to own your yes. And join me in the whole body challenge. It's self paced. It's on demand. So makes it really easy for you to go through that. You can find information about it in the show notes.
And be sure to like and subscribe so you get more great content as I bring you more from life changing manifestations. Thank you so much for letting me share with you today. I hope you have an amazing week of standing strong and owning your yes.
