Why Your Dreams Stay Out of Reach

Why is it that we keep thinking about something and never achieve it?

Why can we dream about something—even in our deepest sleep, where it feels so real, so vivid—and yet, it never manifests in our waking life?

These are the questions I’ve long sought answers to. Initially, I wasn’t even aware I should be asking them. I was simply focused on figuring out how to get more of what I wanted, wondering why it felt so elusive. I often felt disconnected from the version of myself I experienced in dreams, leaving me unable to bridge the gap between that and my reality.

As the years passed, I tried to control my circumstances—switching jobs, making adjustments I thought would bring me closer to what I wanted. Money, in particular, became the solution I chased, believing that if I just had more, everything else would fall into place. More money meant more opportunities, right?

But this kind of thinking is incomplete.
I wouldn’t say it’s entirely wrong because, yes, having more money can expand your access to things. But here's the truth: money is not the sole determining factor in achieving your desires. So many of us fall into the trap of believing it is, and that's where the love/hate relationship with money begins. We hate that we don’t have enough, but would love to have more. Ironically, this very hatred keeps it away.

The same is true for our dreams.
We want them, we obsess over them—even in our sleep—but they still elude us. Why is that?

Why can we want something so badly and not acquire it? What is wrong with our ability to manifest our dreams?

The answer is simple: we don’t allow them to exist in our current reality.

As a child, I often dreamt of being confident, outgoing, and popular. In my dreams, I was a cheerleader—one of the most visible and celebrated roles a girl could have. I imagined myself strutting confidently in my cheer uniform, dating the dream boy who noticed me. If you ever read Sweet Valley High books, I was Jessica Wakefield in my mind.

But here’s why I’m sharing this:
In my dreams, I was the outgoing cheerleader, but in my waking life, I was reclusive and shy. I thought a lot, but spoke little. After moving schools in fourth grade and experiencing social exclusion, I became quiet and withdrawn. Yet deep down, I knew I was capable of more—if only the world would see it. The truth is, it wasn’t the world holding me back; it was me. I had accepted a label that wasn’t mine to carry.

My subconscious mind, however, knew better. It created a space in my dreams where I could live out the confidence I desired. This is why our dreams are so powerful—they soothe and support us when our waking minds are too fixated on limitations.

So why can’t we bring those dreams into our reality?

Because we don’t believe we can.
We are disconnected from our desires, blocked by a lack of belief and confidence that they can be our reality.

Let me share a real-time example. In previous posts, I’ve mentioned the sale of my house. It’s been nearly 13 years in the making, and for most of that time, I was blocked by limiting beliefs that kept me from moving forward. Now, I’ve worked through many of those blocks, but even as the house sale progresses, I still notice fears about purchasing a new home. Our house is closing, and we’re moving out in less than two weeks—a family of five—with no confirmed destination.

And yet, to my surprise, I feel excitement. I’m open to the unknown. I thought I knew where we were moving, but things haven’t quite fallen into place. In the meantime, what feels right is taking a family vacation and letting things unfold naturally.

So here’s the lesson:

Take notice of your dreams. They are your subconscious speaking to you, offering fulfillment and release in ways your waking mind may not allow. The more you listen to your intuition and trust your subconscious throughout your day, the more you will start to experience life-changing manifestations.